A Fresher's Tongue

New life, new college, new friends, new surroundings, new people, new teachers, new subjects, new this, new that, in short, ALL CRAP! Let me get to the main point! What’s the best part of this college? GIRLS! Yes, they do have the best looking girls on campus! Any guy's dream come true, isn't it? Away from home, in a new place, completely independent, and brilliantly attractive girls where ever you look! Although, some extra cash in pockets would've really helped because let alone dating, just the 'impressing a girl' part can be really expensive at times for us, the guys. I know most of the girls must be thinking that they're not greedy and selfish, and they don't look at a guys pockets and money and blah blah! CRAP! When it comes to dating at those chic restaurants, its MONEY honey.

But obviously, the Gods can't be so kind to us, can they? And hence, there's a small catch, which really disturbs me at times, and many of my friends too. That is, every good looking girl is always walking hand in hand with another guy! Damn!

But the self-consoling part of me never misses a chance to strike back. "What does she see in that guy? I look much better than him! (checking in the mirror) Yeah man! I certainly do! And his hair style? Reminds me of the pigs in the sewers of Delhi! And look at him walk man! He's certainly drunk. Indecent. Not to mention, pathetically cheap and vulgar dressing sense. Poor girl, she missed the chance to be with me." (It's an effective way guys. Try it. I apparently convinced myself to feel sorry for Shilpa Shetty a few months back, when the news of her wedding crashed upon me).

The heart of our university, the canteens. Back home, even a trip to a very normal, not so chic restaurant, meant spending at least 150 Rupees per head. Although here, at the university canteen, a full meal for 50 bucks becomes a luxury. Most of us, unemployed, solely dependent on our parents's money, opt for the cheaper ones. I do that too, and just for the record, I'm a Sindhi. I think that should clear everything. Marwadis, Gujaratis and Sindhis are born with calculators in their heads. We're famous to start looking at the menu card from the right corner, because that's where the prices are listed for every dish. Locate the smallest amount, and then see what's being served at that price.

Once at ‘Le Meridien’ (a 5 star luxury hotel in Delhi), I got really happy, because, like my calculative tradition, I checked out the prices first, without looking at what that was for. I was over whelmed, overjoyed, and extremely delighted to see an option of 'Rs. 85' among all other more than 'Rs. 350'. Embarrassing enough to admit, it turned out to be the cost for 'Extra Cream / mayonnaise sauce'

Life outside college is uninviting. Living alone in my own, rented, room looked so exciting when I was only imagining it. Living in the same room is a completely different ball game. All the guys who try to work out in gyms for hours to build muscles, must devote that time in washing denims; a more effective way, and obviously, it'll earn you your helper's blessings.

We really learn to move out of our cozy shells here. What we used to call a 'worldly' nature, gets induced in us too. Dealing with people, situations etc. with no parents around, just you and your wits, that's what I'm learning here. People with their own vehicles become your friends first. Sounds really cheap and mean, right? It does, and I agree. Even writing about it feels the same way. But believe me, it's a process. That's how it works. Otherwise try spending 100 Rupees everyday (my calculator's on again) just on travelling, your local travel expenses will mount peaks! Darwin reminds me of his theory's unchallengeable existence. Only the fittest shall survive. And fittest reminds me, I stay fit by walking for about 7 kilometers everyday (no exaggeration). Lost a lot of weight too! And there I was, back at home, slogging for two hours in the gym and controlling my diet and still unable to reduce weight nicely. And here, one week into college and Voila! I’m thinner!

I’ve started body building now, in my bathroom! Yes! In my bathroom! It’s an easy process. Starts with the washing of light T-shirts, slowly moves on to shirts, and now I can proudly say that I wash denims. Forearms, biceps, triceps, chest, shoulders, abs; everything getting built. Everyone should try this, their helpers will bless them!

That was just a week into university, and I got to see so much! Don’t know what it has in stock for me for the years to come...